Valedictorian
by insertappropropriatenamehere
Summary: AU Lelouch was blind, crippled, the antithesis of what the masked terrorist was- so why was he Zero under the mask? Suzaku couldn't understand. He couldn't accept it. So he pulled the trigger.
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is what I get for listening to Dvorak's Symphony No. 9 (which is, incidentally, titled 'To the New World') while writing what was supposed to be just a nameless drabble for something else- dammit! Not another one! Anyways, 'From the Beginning' is still my first priority. This just helps with my occasional writer's block and stress. Please expect angst, gallows humor, many (many) Facing the Bullets One Liners, and a good deal of violence.

Warning: This is my first fic. Rape, non-con, violence, angst, character death, tort, etc. Although the sex/raep (and most of the depressing stuff) won't come until later. Not until this author is of legal age to be writing these kinds of things. (soon, though, soon) This is also my first M-rated fic. Yes, it's a dark fic, in case you haven't figured it out by now. ~rant over~

Disclaimer: If I owned Code Geass, this would be one of the spin-off mangas. Does this _look_ like a spin-off manga to you?!

Inspiration: _Because of the Bird_ [CM+PA] and a random kink meme wondering what would happen if Lelouch had ended up the crippled one and Suzaku fell in love with him. Can't you just imagine Nunnally as a badass Mama Bear? Although trying to have sex with someone who- oh, never mind. It doesn't apply to this story, anyways.

XxXxX

Prologue: Kaminejima

XxXxX

"I have an idea," V.V. said, smirking sadistically over the body of his least favorite woman in the world, the former Empress Marianne vi Britannia. "Let's make that stupid brat of hers the victim in all this. Then brother will realize what a fool he was to trust that woman."

The soft thump of steps heralded the Eleventh Prince's arrival. "Mother- _mother?!_" he screamed in shock and desperation before V.V. took aim and fired.

The next day, the Lady Nunnally was kicked out of her father's presence, kicking and screaming, almost insane with rage and grief over her brother's injuries. It was only due to said brother's reawakening into a harsh reality that caused her to quiet down into sullen anger and leave to become a hostage and bait in Japan.

The first time that Kururugi Suzaku, or Suzaku Kururugi as he would be called in Britannian, saw the Britannian boy his own age sitting in an odd chair with wheels, appearing oddly ethereal and delicate, he hadn't understood that he really shouldn't have attacked him and knocked him over and out of the chair. That was quickly remedied when a six year old girl promptly attacked him for attacking her older brother and kicked him somewhere painful, the situation escalating into a catfight until the boy he had knocked down and both had forgotten about had swiftly, almost easily restored peace.

That was the beginning of a friendship unlike any other. Suzaku and Nunnally Lamperouge vi Britannia became close rivals, caught up in the quiet, fiery strength of her beloved older brother and his close friend. Even if Lelouch couldn't walk, even if he couldn't see, he could force the ties that bound them together. After all, he had created them.

And then Britannia attacked. Nunnally and her brother vanished off the face of the planet and were presumed dead. Seven years later, after the rise of Zero, Suzaku met them again, living as transfer students in a Britannian school.

By then, they were called Nunnally and Lelouch Lamperouge. Suzaku had met Nunnally after an incident involving a cat; she had then taken him to see her older brother. They had entered the clubhouse to find him sitting in his wheelchair, eyes closed, playing a requiem on the grand piano.

Suzaku wasn't sure when he first felt the feelings of love and fierce protection, but he had felt them there, watching his erstwhile best friend create tones of fiery passion and notes of a pervasive, staccato sadness alike, the perfect victim confined to his wheelchair and yet strong enough to center his and Nunnally's universes around him.

It was Lelouch who had comforted him the most after his supposed murder of Prince Clovis and had supported him after Euphy's tragic death. It was Lelouch who he depended on as the stable point in his confusing, shifting universe. It was Lelouch and his wellbeing that Suzaku thought about every time he piloted the Lancelot against the terrorist Zero.

Therefore, he shouldn't have been surprised, he mused, as he aimed the gun at the man most feared in Britannia, the man he judged responsible for his beloved Euphy's murder. Judging by Kallen's gasp from behind him, she hadn't been expecting this too.

Lelouch's face stared out at him emotionlessly. Instead of the perpetually closed lids, a pair of icy, remote eyes that would put amethyst to shame stared out at him. At least, one of them was amethyst. The other was glowing an eerie red color, the cursed symbol that child V.V. had told him was responsible for Euphy's death floating in the iris, framing the contracted pupil. It was dead, somehow, more dead than Lelouch's just keeping his eyes closed could make it appear to be.

"You were my Knight, Suzaku."

Zero, the terrorist called the "man of miracles", the terrorist who was ruthless, so unlike the gentle Lelouch who wouldn't even hurt the thoughtless students- still children, really- who were his bullies at Ashford Academy- the terrorist who was as cold, dramatic, and intense as Lelouch was not- the terrorist who could _walk_ and even run with the best of them, sometimes fast enough to dodge Knightmares- this wasn't Lelouch! It couldn't be!

"SHUT UP! YOU'RE NOT HIM!"

BANG!

And a figure crumpled.

Suzaku dropped the gun; Kallen had long since run away at the revelation that her idol Zero was actually her virtually paraplegic, blind, weak victim of a classmate incapable of even navigating around the school by himself.

"What have I done?" he whispered, eyeing the crumpled figure in deep, dull despair.

In the shadows, a child-like figure with long, blond hair smiled and fingered the same gun that had killed Third Princess Euphemia li Britannia and blamed the murder on the Black Knights.

XxXxX

AN: END! Hahahaha!!! Now, if you don't want this to be a one-shot forever, review! D

On the other hand, if this is a oneshot, just pretend that Suzaku killed Lelouch, went insane, killed himself, causing Nunnally to kill _herself_, and then Charles activated Instrumentality/Ragnarok and then they all got semi-resurrected and kinda lived happily ever after.

But seriously, what kind of ending is _that?!_


	2. Chapter 2

AN: So. I got a few reviews, but that's okay. I like the idea, too. This story will be continued.

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass. If you sue me over this, I will sue back. And I will win, because I can then prove your slander and libel. And harassment. So, unless you want to pay my way through college, do not sue.

Warning: Nothing really graphic in this chapter.

XxXxX

Chapter 1: Recollections

XxXxX

Suzaku was dreaming. Physically, he was in a chartered military plane, flying to Britannia along with the Lancelot, Lloyd, and Cecile, but mentally, he was back in the Shinjuku ghetto, searching for a red herring.

_He crouched behind some rubble, keeping an eye out for any movement. The exit he had been sent to guard was perfectly still, empty. _

_He could have laughed in despair at the actions he was about to commit. A truck roared suddenly into the abandoned station, skidding to a stop as it crashed into a large pile of debris still left from the Britannian invasion seven years ago. _

_The door to the truck opened, and he could see a slim male figure in a hooded jacket move out, wobbling as if he were heavily impaired or had just learned to walk. Twice, the figure almost fell. _

_He tapped his comlink and radioed in, making his move at the same time. His spinkick drove the other figure backwards. Suddenly his opponent was moving like a professional fighter or dancer. It just didn't make sense. _

"_Stop, in the name of the Britannian military," he rasped out. The figure let out a quiet snarl, and then his world went black as something heavy and hard slammed into his face, knocking off his helmet and facemask. _

Suzaku woke up with a gasp, remembering the incident. When he had woken up, Lloyd had told him that he was the only survivor; an entire Special Ops team had been gunned down, and the capsule was empty. Later, as he was in the battlefield against a suddenly powerful and well-organized guerilla group, Prince Clovis had been killed. Had it really been Lelouch who had shot his own brother at point blank range? Was that the entire reason why he wasn't dead as well? That Lelouch had remembered him?

How did that explain how his best friend could see? Had he forcibly opened his eyes, despite the trauma that had occurred to shut them, presumably forever? Why?

Why was he Zero?

Suzaku gritted his teeth, forcing himself to accept reality; the person he had thought of as his friend had really been a cold-blooded murderer, deceiving him. This was unlike the Lelouch he knew and had known. His mind flip-flopped through various possibilities, trying to find the matching one. With Zero's capture's announcement, the Britannian forces and Black Knights alike had retreated. No one doubted that Zero had turned himself in to save his Knights when it became obvious that they could not win, not when Britannia could have and was fielding more soldiers than the entire number of Japanese people left. And there was only one fate for a traitor to the Empire, no matter how exalted his bloodline. Death.

Finding himself unwilling to keep sleeping, Suzaku dragged himself up, heading for the prison where his friend was incarcerated. The temperature in the bowels of the ship was cold enough that he shivered, despite the fact that he was fully dressed and wearing a jacket. Lelouch was curled up on the floor, half-awake wearing only an oversized, battered t-shirt that Suzaku had outgrown.

Suzaku suddenly found himself hating the almost blank look in those purple eyes and the red-black sakuradite-enhanced metal replacements for his legs, small, overlapping metal plates running over the sides of his hips and thighs from a node connecting his spine to his knees and beyond spilling over his bare, pale feet, almost like armor. In the green pulsing of the Gefjun disturbers, Lelouch looked almost dead, his pale skin reflecting a sickly hue, especially over the bullet scars that riddled what was left of his legs and the makeshift, bloodstained bandage over his right collarbone and shoulder.

Suzaku had seen what had happened to his legs seven years ago one night after intruding upon Nunnally unintentionally, the heavy scarring and disfigurement left by many, many bullets slicing through tender flesh like butter. How could he not have wondered why Lelouch's legs appeared so normal seven years later? Almost as if he were merely sitting and his legs were not useless lumps of twisted flesh.

"Did you come to mock me?" Lelouch asked, tilting his head upwards slightly. "All I ever wanted was to help Japan, Suzaku. Please, you have to believe me. Let me die, but please don't let me die as your enemy."

"Die as your enemy?" Suzaku hissed, suddenly angry. "You don't deserve friends. You don't deserve love. You don't deserve acknowledgement. You don't deserve to live! After you killed Euphy-"

"I didn't!" Lelouch screamed suddenly, dragging his body and his now useless legs forward in futile rage, throwing himself against the plexiglass cell wall separating him from Suzaku. "I didn't kill her! I swear!"

"Don't lie!" Suzaku roared back, kicking the section of the wall in front of Lelouch's face. "You did, with your Geass! She died trying to free Japan! A Black Knight pulled the trigger! And they only take orders from you, Lelouch! You caused her death! You _killed_ her! I hate you, I don't know how I ever could have liked scum like you, and I will never forgive you!"

"Please!" Lelouch whimpered, sliding back down to the floor. "I didn't! It wasn't my fault! Please!"

"Don't delude yourself, Zero," Suzaku replied coldly, turning and walking away. He felt so tired; only his rage kept him from sinking to the floor and crying for losing the three people most important to him- Euphy, Nunnally, and now Lelouch. It had all been Lelouch's fault, dammit! He was merely a leech who destroyed everything he cared for.

Instead of heading back to his berth, however, he went to the control room. The technicians watching over the ship let him in without a comment. He sat in front of the screen showing Lelouch's cell, watching with cold satisfaction as a grainy image cried itself to a stupor.

Lelouch had betrayed him. And now he would betray Lelouch.

XxXxX

Nunnally wasn't sure what to think. One moment she had been in class; the next, a pair of polite elite soldiers- Kewell Soresi and Villetta Nu, members of the Purist faction, she recalled- were offering their condolences over her brother's death and escorting her back to the place she had called home, before she felt her home betray her.

The black car slid over the smooth, paved highways of the Tokyo Settlement as she felt sick to her stomach. There was a picture of her beloved brother's face, pale and drawn, his eyes closed with a pool of blood surrounding his head in a gruesome parody of a halo. Suzaku had found him, and had gone ahead with her brother's body. Back to Britannia, back to the homeland she had hoped to never see again.

She doubted that the Japanese had done this. No- it had probably been the same terrorists as seven years ago- the same Britannian terrorists! She curled up the photo in her hand. "No. I refuse to remember my brother this way."

"Your Highness-" Villetta began uncertainly.

"Don't pretend to be sorry for me!" Nunnally screamed. "All we ever wanted was a peaceful life! Then you people had to ruin it for us!"

At least the two Purists had the decency to appear ashamed. Nunnally stared at the floor of the limousine, trying not to cry.

She wasn't even sure what happened afterwards, only that she ended up in an enormous, soft bed, alone at last but for the guards at her door, and that she cried herself to sleep.

XxXxX

Suzaku dragged his erstwhile friend down the deserted, dimly lit hall of Pendragon's Imperial Palace, ignoring Lelouch's soft whimpers of pain.

"Your Majesty," he said, kneeling and shoving Lelouch's face into the floor, forcing the former prince to lie prone on the floor, helpless against his father. "I have a proposal. I wish to join the Knights of Rounds in exchange for Zero."

"A position in the most elite group pilots in the world in exchange for my worthless, idiot son?" Charles rumbled amusedly. "You are willing to sell out your best friend for rank."

Suzaku kept his eyes trained on the Emperor's, allowing none of the sudden insecurities he felt to show in his gaze.

"NO!" Lelouch screamed suddenly, thrashing violently. "Please, Suzaku! You can't!"

Suzaku hardened his heart. "Yes, I can," he said simply.

"Then I accept," the Emperor boomed, standing up. "I name you to the Rounds, Kururugi Suzaku. Seal his left eye, Knight of Seven."

"I will erase all your memories." Charles' voice echoed sonorously, far more ponderous and ominous than it should have been. "You will forget about everything- Marianne, Nunnally, Zero- and become just another ordinary person."

Even through his wordless scream, the pain of losing his identity, the pain of betrayal by someone he considered nakama, Lelouch couldn't help but feel a shard of hard, crystalline pride that Suzaku was good enough to be acknowledged by the best for his skill, and then placed to rank above even those with reputations greater than his and bloodlines considered purer than his.

XxXxX

AN: See what reviews do? I update this story based solely on the reviews I get!


	3. Chapter 3

AN: More Suzaku angst. :D You know you want that. Also, Ragezaku and Psychozaku abound, because it's so interesting to deconstruct their feelings that way. This chapter also introduces bits of introductory psychology, more specifically the theory known as 'classical conditioning', which was made clear by a man named Pavlov who had a dog. (Actually, there's a Suzalulu fanfic out there in LJ in which Lelouch uses this on Suzaku, but yeah.)

Disclaimer: Warning: The day you sue is the day you become an incorrigible idiot. I do not own Code Geass and likely never will. Although I would love a Geass. Or a Code.

Warning: Graphic violence. Some blood. Ragezaku and a mere hint of Psychozaku.

XxXxX

Chapter 2: Recollections

XxXxX

"_Hey, Suzaku?" Nunnally whispered. They sat in the sunflower fields at the Kururugi shrine, the two of them, with Lelouch in his battered wheelchair sitting next to them, holding their hands. "Will you be Onii-sama's knight?" _

_Suzaku had laughed, but agreed, and right then and there, he had pledged his life, freedom, and body to Lelouch's happiness, only half joking as he did so. How could one not want to protect a being as fierce and pure as the sun? _

_Nunnally had asked him the same question seven years later, entirely serious. Suzaku had pledged himself to Lelouch again, this time fully intending to keep his pledge. And then Euphy had come along, and he couldn't say no to her, either. _

_How could he have shot the one he had pledged to protect?_

Suzaku shot up, gasping for breath. He was sitting next to a hospital bed, where Lelouch was recovering both from the effects of the Emperor's Geass and from the surgery that had deactivated the sakuradite-enhanced medical cybernetic implants that had given his legs movement and the semblance of life. How could he think that way?

Lelouch was a murderer, no less, and he deserved to suffer. Suzaku would make sure he did. Trembling slightly in hate and rage and frustration, he remembered the end of his meeting with the Emperor.

"_He won't remember anything," Charles had told Suzaku. "As such, he is yours to deal with as you see fit." _

_Suzaku had been taken aback. "What?" So this being was no longer Zero? Had Charles purged Zero from Lelouch? Suzaku had shaken his head quietly. No. That was impossible. Lelouch had chosen to become a murderer himself. He had chosen to become a monster, and that monster couldn't be purged, only hidden deep within the recesses of Lelouch's mind. _

"_He will no longer open his eyes and gaze upon the world," Charles had answered coldly. "From this moment on, his life and future are in your hands. He will be entirely dependent on you. _Tabula rasa_, if you will." _

"_But-" Suzaku had whispered. Why was the Emperor acting this way? What did he know that Suzaku didn't? And what the Hell was 'tabula rasa'? _

"_You are the Knight of Seven, and that is your first order," the Emperor had said. "I am sure he'll make a good aide or something." _

_Suzaku had suddenly remembered something very important. "What about Nunnally?" _

_The Emperor had remained silent on the issue and merely dismissed him. _

Watching the slow, even breathing of the man who had become Zero and hearing the repetitive beeping of the heart monitors, Suzaku sat and stewed in his own negative emotions.

Lelouch would pay, whether he remembered or not. Suzaku was sure of it. He wouldn't let Lelouch become a murderer again, even if that meant breaking him.

Yes, an insidious voice in his head whispered. That was the right choice. It was his duty to make Zero suffer.

He only wondered briefly when he had begun referring to Lelouch as Zero before turning back to the dark whispers inside his mind.

He never even noticed the boy standing behind him, Geass glowing.

XxXxX

The next day, Lelouch was sitting in a wheelchair in his living quarters' grand excuse for a living room, eyes closed as usual and looking nervous. He wore only a t-shirt and a pair of shorts that did nothing to hide his prosthetics. His head turned in Suzaku's direction as the Knight entered the room.

"_Kururugi-sama?" _

Suzaku noticed bitterly just how different Lelouch sounded, just because he had lost his memories.

"Ah, Lord Kururugi," a second person, this one a sixteen year old boy who looked like a cross between Nunnally and Lelouch, spoke up. "I am Rolo Haliburton, from the Secret Intelligence Service. Lelouch Lamperouge and I were sent to be your aides."

Suzaku suspected that the boy named 'Rolo' had actually been sent to keep an eye on Lelouch, but dismissed the thought. He would find nothing to fit his suspicions; Suzaku would keep a leash on Zero. "You are dismissed, Rolo."

Rolo bowed and left, Suzaku noticing the outlines of knives on various parts of his body before turning to his erstwhile best friend. '_He is dangerous_,' Suzaku thought, though whether he meant Lelouch or Rolo even he wasn't sure.

"Kururugi-sama?" That hated voice again, making Suzaku's spine shiver just by the sound of it. He did the only thing he could; he slapped the boy, rocking the wheelchair.

"Silence." Lelouch gave a small, almost invisible sob and quieted down, his right hand tentatively reaching up to touch his reddening cheek. Suzaku felt a moment of guilt for harming someone unable to fight back before remembering that Lelouch was Zero and deserved to suffer, memories or no. "Do not speak until I give you permission."

"Yes, my Lord." Was that his imagination, or were those tears sparking at the corners of those closed eyelids? Suzaku took in the tousled hair, half-subconscious pout, the reddening that could be mistaken easily for a blush, and sad expression, something in his stomach twisting in an unfamiliar sensation.

How could this murderer look so much like- like _her?_ So innocent of the misdeeds he had performed in the name of justice? Suzaku snarled, his fist slamming into the other side of Lelouch's face, knocking the other boy out of the wheelchair before he recognized what had happened.

"Don't- don't. Just shut up!" he screamed, a red mist overtaking his senses, and he kicked Lelouch, who had been struggling to his knees, his boot connecting just below the ribs and knocking the wind out of the other. Lelouch collapsed onto his side, slowly wheezing blood out of his mouth and onto the pristine white carpet.

Watching the red slowly seep into and spread through white, like Euphy's blood had dripped from her wounds and stained her dress, Suzaku gasped, ashamed at what he had done.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, remembering that Lelouch was Zero, and that somewhere inside that monster was the boy he had met seven years ago. He laid Lelouch out on his stomach so he could breathe, cradling his head and torso gently in his arms, remembering his promise to Nunnally. No matter how much he hated Lelouch, he still had his promise to Nunnally to keep, right?

The supine body in his arms curled up into an almost fetal position around him.

"It's all right. You can speak now."

"I'm sorry, Kururugi-sama." Suzaku briefly wondered if Lelouch even realized he was speaking in two different languages. Oh, well, there would be time to figure that out later.

"You should be more careful, Lamperouge," he scolded, comparing this inert burden to Euphy's and finding it wanting. "You should atone for your actions, and you haven't finished yet."

"Ah- yes," Lelouch babbled, struggling into a sitting position once more. Suzaku took him and lifted him into his wheelchair. He had an appointment with Lloyd in half an hour, which meant he needed to leave now. "Thank you, Kururugi-sama."

"Where do you live?" The question was as brusque and impersonal as Suzaku could make it.

Lelouch blushed. "I- I was told that I was to live with you now, Kururugi-sama."

Suzaku blinked in surprise, although he supposed he should have anticipated this. With a sigh, he began wheeling Lelouch out. He didn't trust him not to find out something suspicious, not with most of his possessions still lying in a heap in the middle of the living room where he had dumped them last night, too emotionally tired to look through and sort out pictures and mementos of himself, Euphy, Nunnally, and Lelouch.

That, and he dreaded the mess he would find his quarters to be if he left Lelouch in there too long by himself. He remembered Nunnally's comments from seven years ago about her brother's unconscious destructive tendencies.

And Lelouch was Zero. As he stepped out of his quarters, a familiar wave of hate swept through him, and he almost pushed Lelouch out an enormous window and onto the ground several stories below.

"Where are we going, Kururugi-sama?"

"It doesn't matter," he replied roughly. "Not for someone like you."

"Yes, Kururugi-sama. I'm sorry for asking."

For a brief second he wondered just how much of Lelouch's memories that the Emperor had really erased before remembering one of Lelouch's statements about the brain.

_Lelouch ripped the paper efficiently, some Taylor equation problem splitting into two under the pressure. He continued to fold the paper until he held a small origami crane in his hand, presenting the finished product to Suzaku. "Ne, Suzaku, did you know that the brain stores emotions, imprinted feelings, and functions such as the memorization of language in a different sector of the brain from the one that houses the memories of how we acquired those feelings and information? That way, no matter if I forget about you, no matter how long it's been, I'll always know that I'm your friend." _

Suzaku remembered an origami crane made out of an old math assignment hidden, discarded somewhere in a trash basket back in Japan, and shuddered.

Then he checked his watch. Dammit. He was going to be late.

Somewhere out there, he was sure there was a deity or two laughing at him.

XxXxX

AN: Taylor series are a part of calculus. They're also very, very long. Some problems (eg. question 1) take well over a page, front and back, to finish. Usually, there are many, many parts to each individual problem, and each part is a lot of work. Sometimes, people cheat by putting down the original equation, the equations necessary to transmute the original equation, the phrase 'math happens', and the final answer down, which is much shorter but not necessarily better, as it is so easy to make a mistake somewhere in the process, and then you have to go back and change everything. It's like trying to solve a 16x16 matrix by hand, without a calculator, only you're missing half the matrix, which is scattered around elsewhere.

Ugh.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Wow. I can't believe I'm continuing this fic. The last chapter was a disappointment to me. That is how my fics usually get discontinued. This is a breather episode just so I can confuse Lelouch more when Suzaku gets violent again. :D

Disclaimer: If you think I own Code Geass, you need to get a neurosurgeon. And a shrink.

Warning: This is a filler chapter. It does, however, set some stuff up that will become very, very important later on. Oh, and you should read the spoiler in the end, too. After you read the story Expect the next chapter to be really soon, too.

XxXxX

Chapter 3: Betrayal

XxXxX

"_Hang on," Nunnally whispered, hope evident in her voice. "The process is almost done." _

_Said process was the process replacing Lelouch's destroyed legs with artificial parts. The sixteen-year-old ex-prince gasped as the technician soldered on another metal part, wincing in pain. _

"_I'm sorry," the man said, fiddling nervously with his goggles. "I'm afraid we can't use anesthesia, however, because that would interfere with the nerve-endings. Thank whatever gods are out there that Rakshata managed to finish these in time, though, and that in your case it's mostly a structural issue, not a nerve issue. After this, you should be able to walk." _

_Lelouch only nodded hopefully, his closed eyes almost expressive in and of themselves. _

_Even with bracing for the pain, the shock and sudden influx of reception from artificial nerves ripped into his brain with enough force to make him see white. _

_See white…. _

"_I can see," he whispered, staring at his hands in shock before looking at the technician. "Please don't tell anyone. Please don't even make mention that this happened." _

_When Lelouch visited the scientist-doctor a year later to wipe away those memories for good, he found that the technician had indeed not told anyone, apparently impressed by the urgency in Lelouch's eyes and voice that told him his patient had good reason to pretend to be blind. _

_In the end, it had been the change in his mental structure that had knocked the rearrangement of the Emperor's Geass loose enough for him to take advantage of the temporary opening. _

_And although he still didn't remember what had gone on the day his mother was murdered, he knew perfectly well what he was up against, and how to fight back. _

_Thus, Zero had been born. _

XxXxX

Lloyd blinked. "Hello, Lelouch." Cecile looked on with a vaguely bemused look, as if trying to figure out where she had met Lelouch before. "Do you mind if I take a look at your legs?"

"Um, Ku-!"

"LLOYD! Of course not!" Cecile snarled, brandishing a wrench.

_"It appears that his becoming Zero was triggered by his regaining of his eyesight, which in turn was triggered by the activation of his cybernetics," Charles rumbled warningly. The part about its originally being the Emperor's own fault for putting a Geass on his son was dutifully ignored. "Do not let that happen again." _

"Just give him something to do," Suzaku sighed. "Under no circumstances, please, ever tamper with or even touch his legs or leave him alone. Alright?"

Lloyd sighed. "I can even tell who did the work on them."

"My legs?"

"Lloyd, don't we have an invasion to prepare for?" Suzaku interrupted.

Lloyd's laugh was unrepentant. "Oh, yes, but all I have to do is ship the Lancelot-"

"-since he spent all our budget on it," Cecile sighed. "Have you packed?"

Suzaku looked down, realizing what he needed to bring hadn't been unpacked in the first place. "I'm fine, but we need to get him some stuff. Any ideas?"

Cecile smiled, and Suzaku realized he had made a mistake.

"I'll take him shopping," she offered. "You can come too."

Suzaku wondered why he was even making such concessions for Euphy's murderer. "Never mind. I"ll find something for him."

Cecile looked disappointed. "All right. If you say so, then. I'm still willing, though, in case you change your mind."

Suzaku snorted. He doubted that. "So, where do we start?"

Lloyd pointed to a large practice arena on a pin-up map of Pendragon Imperial City. "You agreed to a friendly spar with the Knight of Six and the Knight of Three, remember?"

Suzaku sighed. Somehow, this had seemed like a better idea before he had to deal with Lelouch.

It was all Lelouch's fault.

XxXxX

Suzaku limped back into his rooms that night, once again wheeling Lelouch. The sight of an Eleven dressed in the uniform of a Knight of Rounds wheeling a blind kid who, other than the obviously high-quality, well-maintained prosthetic legs, could have been picked up from the street of any Britannian ghetto had caught the attention of many people. Suzaku made a mental notice to get Rolo to do this from now on. He didn't trust what Lelouch would do if given a motorized set of wheels.

When he entered the room, he noticed that there was an extra blanket on the couch, but nothing else. Obviously, Lelouch wasn't very high up on his father's list of priorities.

With a sigh, he tried to remember what Nunnally's routine for him had been. Oh, right. "Lelouch, do you need to use the restroom?"

A hesitant, embarrassed half-nod. Suzaku wheeled him over to the bathroom, pulled down his shorts- Lelouch wasn't wearing anything under them- and sat him on the toilet as he ran the water for his own bath. Gino could be quite violent when he wanted to be, inane cheerfulness and naiveté aside, and the less said about Anya, the better. His shoulder was sore, his backside was in various shades of pain, his bottom hurt from sitting in a hard seat inside a Knightmare cockpit that was constantly throwing itself around trying to avoid Mordred's Stark Hadron blasts and Gino's MVS scythe-thing. Whatever it was called.

Suzaku noticed an extra toothbrush on the stand, and extra towels on the rack before a problem came to him. Was he even supposed to get Lelouch's legs wet? Would they end up electrocuting the both of them? Suzaku sighed and flushed the toilet as Lelouch finished. Great. Sponge-baths.

"Take your shirt off." Lelouch hurried to do so, still sitting on the toilet. Well, it wasn't as if he could move on his own, anyways.

He took a towel, dunked it in the hot water, and began scrubbing Lelouch down with it. The once-white fabric came away in shades of earthy brown and rusty red.

Lelouch yelped in pain; Suzaku grumbled at his sensitive skin and dunked his upper half under the water, scrubbing his hair to get it clean and ignoring the flailing arms. Only when they flagged did he pull Lelouch's head back up for a few agonized breaths. His skin had turned an odd shade of maroon-red, and it occurred to Suzaku that maybe he should have put in some cold water.

This whole issue with the hot water was just one more thing that made this place different from his old barracks. Suzaku cursed fluently as Lelouch cringed, hoping that he hadn't ended up giving Lelouch first-degree burns or worse. But then, it didn't really matter what Lelouch felt, so long as he was kept alive. He was Suzaku's.

The insidious voice in his head was blaming everything that had gone wrong in his life on Lelouch again. Suzaku willed it shut, ignoring the fact that his grip on Lelouch's wrist was strong enough to make the wrist bones creak in protest. Lelouch did nothing but slump against the edge of the bathtub, hair clinging messily to his face as he shivered slightly from pain and cold.

"Shit," Suzaku whispered. "Kuso." Well, if Lelouch was already in this condition he might as well finish the job. He dipped the towel into the water again and cleaned it off, this time swabbing around Lelouch's lower body and ignoring Lelouch's protests whenever the heated water made contact with somewhere sensitive.

Standing back, he surveyed his work; the redness was already fading from all but the most sensitive parts of Lelouch's skin, and Suzaku felt a brief sense of disappointment that Euphy's murderer, although he technically couldn't be called a murderer in this case, wasn't suffering enough.

"You're more trouble than you're worth," he said softly as he dragged Lelouch back into his wheelchair, not bothering with clothes, poked around his mouth with the toothbrush and some toothpaste, and then wrapped him up in the blanket and deposited him on the couch. "Go to sleep and don't make a noise until morning."

Lelouch nodded, and Suzaku turned to his own bed, feeling more than a little empty inside.

What the Hell was wrong with him?

XxXxX

V.V. frowned. The Geass of Hatred upon Kururugi Suzaku was failing. Perhaps it should be renewed, then. Multiple times. He wanted his nephew to suffer, suffer for the sins of his mother.

"Kane," he called. The girl in question scurried over, looking slightly awed at being in his presence. "Go back to Pendragon, find Rolo again and tell him your new mission, and renew your Geass upon Kururugi Suzaku as many times as it takes."

Kane bowed nervously and ran off. V.V. picked up his phone. Both Rolo and Kane might be failures, but they were still useful.

"Hello, Charles. I'd like for you to transfer one other person into Kururugi Suzaku's retinue."

XxXxX

AN: Wow. Um. Yeah. Suzaku's feelings aren't entirely his own. And I have an OC. Although you could have figured it out. Kane's Geass is responsible for Suzaku's 'insidious little voice'.

SPOILER: Her Geass wipes away a person's original feelings for something and replaces them with what she wants them to feel. Unfortunately, it can only operate on one thing at a time. It can, however, be used multiple times on the same person. Obviously. And the Geass fades with time; the victim will feel apathy towards whatever she Geassed them to feel a certain way about, and then his/her original feelings will surface. And she is not a Mary Sue. She will get killed off in the future, if it makes you happy.

So incase you couldn't tell, you have a long, long while to wait before you get anything near yaoi. (or, considering my update speed so far, maybe not.) But there will be angst. Lots and lots of angst.


End file.
